Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
