the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
