oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
