He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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