I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
