I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
