i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize