So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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