Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
