remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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