okay pat passed out under dana's car
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
