Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
