Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
