lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
