the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
