i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
