what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
