I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
What drink are we having for lunch?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
