I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
