Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
A bitchslap is in order.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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