I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
