If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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