is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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