Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
