Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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