dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
