Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize