I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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