what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
