You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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