This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
