addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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