My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize