They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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