69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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