we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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