How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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