I bet he comes in French.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
