I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
