i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
