Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
