Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
