so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
