Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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