Me. At least after what I've been through.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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