Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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