saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
