Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
