i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
