Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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