weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Randomize
