Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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