i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
All I want is dick and wine.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
