Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
