Your dad touched me again.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
