I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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