well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
