i permit you to call me
Welp...herpes.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
