Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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