Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
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