I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Randomize