I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
