I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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