the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
