Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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